Armed Liberally

blood boiler

2006-09-28T16:15:00.000-07:00

Election season in full swing, so there's plenty to boil the blood of non-idiots everywhere. GOP drones and their flacks and shills have the lie machine running overtime, with idiot-in-chief leading the charge. In my entire life, I've never witnessed anyone more happily comfortable with full-time lying than GWB, and I sure as hell bever expected that there were enough stone-stupid Americans to allow it to continue for as long as it has.

I have to ask again - who are you stupid sons-of-bitches?? What the fuck kind of pills do you pop to leave you so haplessly enthralled by the non-stop, easily refuted falsehoods you're fed by these assholes? Clearly you are without shame, dignity, or the capacity to comprehend information as it's made available to you. You sick, sick fuckers are right on the verge of completely destroying anything that was ever great or good about the ol' US of, and you seem to be just happy as clams about it all. I will laugh my ass right off when all this comes back to bite yours, no matter how sorry the bag we're holding is at that time.

I'd just as soon be scavenging dumpsters to survive as to be witnessing the dismantling of democracy and our Constitution that is underway. I'd give my left nut, or either pinky finger to see any of these cocksuckers brought to full justice and their crooked program of lies laid bare. In the meantime, I see a bunch of born-again idiots, hateful racist bastards, and hopelessly greedy fuckers wallowing in a fit of ignorance that would shame the most illiterate third-world country on Earth. Where do you stupid fucks actually think all your illogic is going to get us??!! The fact is it's going to bankrupt us, and guarantee that our kids and grandkids will get to fight each other over who gets the honor of working for Chinese sweatshop operators, who will be the only employers in decades to come. Unless, of course, you're fortunate enough to belong to the Imperial 1% of our wonderful wealthy, whose vanity and self-absorption are enough to make the real Jesus puke blood.

Pull your heads out of your asses, your Bibles, and Bill O'Reilly's crotch long enough to let some oxygen back to your brain. Understand, for once in your fucking life, that there are not easy solutions to difficult problems. Muster the courage that your great-grandparents had, and stop being such pathetic bully/pussy/cowards. Your kids deserve better than the example you're setting, and my kids deserve better than to live in a grotesque and misshapen world brought about by your stupidity.

Half - Cocked, vol. II

2006-08-24T14:49:00.000-07:00

"Going off half-cocked" is the new " Sound Judgement"

From "wars" on "things" to emergency landings due to bottled water, to anti-Mexican fences, going off half-cocked is readily replacing sound judgement in just about every facet of life.

When an individual asks anyone who looks in their direction "whaddyu lookin' at?, you want to fight me? what the fuck's wrong with you?" we very soundly and reasonably conclude that they're a paranoid nutjob, potentially dangerous, badly drunk/drugged, or all of the above. When nations (yes, ours too) do the very same thing in policy-making and diplomacy our conclusions should be the same. However, because so many are now so afraid of so little, it has become the common sense that we do collectively what we brand individuals of being insane for.

I invite any and all to apply this test to our leadership, and to our collective behaviors. Ask yourself, before deciding you "pretty much agree" with some of this stuff, whether it would pass the "homeless junkie ranting on a streetcorner" test. Unless the grownups can fight this tendency to go off half-cocked over everything that happens in the world, we might as well give up on elections, and go straight to military dictatorship, martial law, and rule by force.

Last Throes of the CONservative insurgency

2006-07-07T13:10:00.000-07:00

Welcome to a very ugly chapter in our public history. The Con's are falling, and as they fall, they're doing anything and everything to drag others down with them. That is why they are attacking the UN, and ACLU, the free press, the Constitution and Bill of Rights, and anyone who dares repeat the litany of crimes and misdemeanors they've commited in their vain and self-serving grab for power.

These are the last throes of an insurgency, Donnie and Dickie. These are the desparate acts of a few who know their days are numbered - that they are encircled and ensnared, outgunned, outnumbered, and outclassed by a superior foe. CONservative poitician after politician under indictment or investigation, Fox News ratings dropping like pigeon shit, Ann Coulter busted for who knows how much plagiarism, 2/3 of us calling for an immediate withdrawal from Iraq; on and on it goes. It's funny the poor, stupid bastards fail to appreciate how severe the backlash against them will be, when real democracy is restored, and when all of the criminals are held accountable.

Then, at long, long last, there will be another 20-30 years of relative peace and progress, as their terrible messes are cleaned up, and their insane debts paid off......I wonder what America could be if we didn't have to go through these cycles where corrupt assholes hijack the political system to enrich themselves every generation or so by exhorting the overenthused and undereducated to rally to them as pawns and tools, usurping their faith, their money, and their patriotism to ensure that future generations of their own ill-begotten broods never have to do an honest day's work.

But it is bound to get far uglier than it is today. These bastards have upped the ante of evil by powers of ten on their good days, and will set new records in all areas on their way down. We should all be a little afraid of how badly they will fuck up the "land that we love" before we're really, finally rid of them.

How Republicans are Pussies

2006-06-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

It's sad when the bullies take over as they now have. Sadder still when there is no qualitative superiority to justify their hold on power. They got there by being the biggest pussies the world has ever seen, and here is how.

A pussy bully, when they desire to gain favor over others, particularly their betters, employ this classic device. They pull some cheap shit, then accuse their opponents of pulling that same shit, then deny they ever did it themselves. Let's suppose for a moment that the parties to this dynamic are 2 siblings. Sibling 1 is minding his own business, ready to go to Church Sunday morning, when sibling 2 (the bully pussy sibling) in order to gain some recognition and attention from Mommy, pushes sibling 1 into the mud, then immediately and loudly rats him out to Dad, for getting his go-to-meeting duds all dirty. Dad is pissed, because, no matter whose fault it was, the trip to Church is now fucked up and delayed. Pussy bully sibling 2 now struts in glee and satisfaction, not caring that Dad is pissed, or that Mom now has more work to do, just mugly satisfied that sibling 1 is in trouble, dirty, and feeling guilty for somethign he didn't do.

There are many variations on this scam, and apparently, it is effective enough that the adult population of the United States can't see through it, which is the very saddest thing about it. I watched for 12 miserable Reagan-Bush years, and now too many more with Bush 2, while worthless pussy bullies make their better able brothers and sisters look bad for the sake of gaining attention. That is some pathetic shit ladies and gentlemen, and it's no more than we deserve for allowing it to continue.

Trolls

2006-06-23T15:10:00.000-07:00

I've been hopping around the blogosphere today, and notice that the trolls are really energized lately. It's clearly a fervor born of desperate denial, as they try to sully the truth-tellers for spoiling the PR campaign their wingnut heroes in government are trying to wage. It is SO pathetic to see grown American citizens embarrasing themselves by repeating empty talking points, regurgitated from the Rush continuum; trying weakly to form "arguments" or "refute" the facts that are leading Americans to push for a purge of all of their ilk from positions of influence, power, and leadership. What's worse is that these people have no shame whatever for what they do - their ignorance is so powerful and blinding that they cannot see blue in the sky, nor feel the wetness as they stand there in the rain.

It's as though someone thawed them out from the Colonial days, and they are all excited for the chance to go out and hunt some witches. Seems comical from the point of view of anyone today with a lick of sense, but they are deadly serious - as serious as they were when, in the name of the Almighty, they burned their neighbors alive for a crime no one could have committed. These desperately agitated and ignorant people have to be dealt with, one way or another. We should all sieze every possible opportunity to call them out - call them stupid - call them liars - and shame them the hell out of the public discussion. There is no reasoning with them, any more than there is reasoning to be done with Charlie Manson. The best we can hope for is to shame them back out of the public eye - back into the dark, ignorant corners they crawled out from - back to the fringe (where they don't even properly belong) - just so long as they're far enough out there to pose no further threat to the real American Way, real Freedom, real Democracy, and real Patriots.

SO, the next time you've got the chance, bash a troll right over the head with whatever you find handy - don't worry about the morality of it, or the imperative to take the high road - there's no way that courtesy will ever be extended on their part, to those who disagree with them. If there's one thing your basic troll doesn't understand, it's understanding.

p.s. I'd like to take this opportunity to invite any of you knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing windowlickers to stop on by and have a heapin' helpin of my Liberal Hostility. Ya fuckin cowards.

Americans - More Stupid by the Hour

2006-06-14T12:38:00.000-07:00

So Dumbshit's approval ratings actually got a boost out of Zarqawi getting killed, and Dumbshit's corny Baghdad photo-op? WTF?? Who are these nitwits, who would change their mind over such a trivial and superficial turn of events? They are the same people who call Entertainment Tonight "the news", and know more about the private lives of celebrities than they know about the Constitution of the United States. They are the people who haven't read a real book in their adult lives, believe that "America is #1" without regard to any verifiable measure of quality, who think that everyone, in every other country on Earth is less intelligent, informed, and sophisicated than they are, who think that a lack of "book learning" can be made up for with enthusiasm, and who are driving this Nation's truck right into the fucking ditch by being so relentlessly, goddamned stupid that I'm embarrassed for their parents.

Citizenship in a Free Democracy involves a hell of a lot more than rooting for your fave football team, folks. Wearing the team colors and shouting down opponents does not constitute participation. Answering questions about our actions with a "can if we want 'cause we're better than you" is the kind of bullshit that children trade on the playground, and not "debate". Ignoring what is obviously going on around you, "for the good of the team" is neither responsible, nor patriotic - it is stupid, and so is everyone who does it. It is with these true things in mind that I will no longer tolerate that kind of stupidity. If you show up in the editorial page of my local paper, or sporting a W bumpersticker, you had better expect to be called out for your stupidity. If you actually value any of what you believe to be to good part of our country, you'd best start doing some homework, skip "ET" and "ESPN", and have something intelligent to say to defend yourself, 'cause I'm comin' after ya. It's what my American forefathers would want me to do.

they're victims????

2006-06-14T10:34:00.000-07:00

Some dumb guy wrote me yesterday about my Ann Coulter post - trying to do some kind of rhetorical flip, where Ann and the Republicans/conservatives/zealots are somehow victims of someone. That they are somehow slighted when they're called to the floor for being liars/haters/cheaters/hacks. That's just preposterous, and goes way beyond the pot calling the kettle black. I've said before, and I reiterate now, that RIGHT WINGERS CAN DISH IT OUT, BUT THEY CAN'T TAKE IT. They are infantile, insecure, and weak-minded, and can't get through life without a mythical authority figure "leading" them. Disgusting, disgraceful, and disingenuous. Left in control of the country, they would return us to Monachical rule within a generation, just as they're trying to do now. They were so busy worrying about their social status in school that they absorbed none of what they were taught about the history of this country, its principles, and its truly great achievements (most of which have nothing to do with waging wars). Their dutiful citizenship would be better applied in a country that thrives on such bullshit - perhaps Saudi Arabia, where Kings and religious authorities make sure that no naked boobies are ever seen, and that only those chosen by the almighty have any money or opportunity - and, it's hot like Texas, too. Pack up and get out, ignorant, backsliding, backbiting, backstabbing dumbshits!!

Zinmeister who!?!??

2006-06-13T17:19:00.000-07:00

Apparently, some dumbfuck from the American quasi-nazi Institute has been hired by W to sound like a tough-guy conservative on domestic policy. Zin-something is the asshole's name, and he says shit that makes me think "he must be Ann Coulter's sugar-daddy". Read upon his contributions to "the national dialogue" today - what a fucking idiot - as if standing around name-calling were a profession people could practice? He's a Yale-y, a foreigner, and presupposes to tell me what an American man is supposed to think about government/society/religion. Fuck you Mr. Zin-whatever - get on a fucking boat and go back to whatever effete, inbred principality of feudal Europe you oozed out of, and shut the fuck up about my country!! And take Schwarzendickhead with ya.

Anybody want to pay me a couple hundred K to sit around soaking up lavish expense-account booze and say shit that homeless fuckers stand at bus stops ranting all day? Anybody? Cause I'm good and ready to rant on and on about craven sissy cocksuckers like Mr. Zinfandel ALL DAY LONG.

Ann Coulter - job recommendations

2006-06-09T16:05:00.000-07:00

Let's get Ann Coulter a job she'd really be good at, like sucking the dicks of syphilitic wife beaters incarcerated throughout our prison system. She could be the all-purpose conjugal-visit cum bucket, and vicious fuckers just like her would all get a chance to feel better because of her.

OR, we could let Rush pump her full of whatever he's on this week, and she could be passed around at those cool poker and hooker parties the "family values" boys in D.C. like to throw for themselves. Bill Bennett could take bets on how many loads of Cialis-driven spunk she could gulp before puking it all over one of the plush suites at the old Watergate. Rick Santorum could rub his lil weiner off while watching through the crack in the closet door, while reminding himself that it's not sinful because no one can see him and she is a woman (judging by wardrobe more than appearance on that one).

The painful fact is that she has no business writing books, unless they are about how really ugly women like her can tart themselves up enough to be considered attractive by the fat, sweaty, socially-retarded, insecure mama's boys who read "books" like those she "writes".

Bush - POLE SMOKER

2006-05-10T14:20:00.000-07:00

Gay fake reporter man-whore visits White House dozens of times.

Half-Cocked

2006-04-11T17:25:00.000-07:00

But for these carefully applied words, we still bask in the regency of His Majesty, the Marquis of Midland, TX, the Dauphin of Confederate Plutocracy, the ol' shrubber - HECKUVA JOB, shrubbie!

The poor lil'feller went off half-cocked after the 9/11, and if he'd been called for exactly that by ol' moosejaw, Kerry, we'd be bustin' his White House balls today, instead of ol'shrubbie's. Of course much of the country went off half-cocked together with shrubbie after 9/11 - all of us wanting to fuck somebody up for so brazenly blowing up our stuff and our people. Shrubbie was just the first drunk at the party to yell out that it was time for tequila shots - lots of the partygoers could've resisted, but were already pretty far along and hell, it'd been a while since they'd really cut loose, so why not, right?! Trillions of dollars and untold thousands of corpses and amputees later, we've got shit to show for it, save a badass hangover and an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame. HECKUVA JOB, partygoers! HECKUVA JOB, Nascar Dads and Promisekeepers and soccer mommies and assorted other "nice" types.

Killers are as killers kill

2006-04-03T14:05:00.000-07:00

The preacher's wife killer from Tennessee is getting a hell of a lot of sympathy for being no more than a garden variety killer. She deserves no more sympathy and understanding than any other killer, and those who would make excuses for her now demonstrate their hypocrisy better than anyone could ever make a case for. Treat her like the killer that she is, like every other killer we sentence and send off to serve their time or pay the "ultimate penalty".

That being said, I will now follow the logical dictates of the religious right and decalre here and now that BAPTISTS ARE WANTON KILLERS. I'll not drive past one of their houses of bloody wickedness without pointing out to my children that "there is where the killers congregate". I will further prohibit my children from associating with the children of this lawless band of violent miscreants, nor will I ever take the word of a Baptist at face value ever again, armed as I now am, with incontrovertible evidence of their hateful lack of morals and the real, mortal danger they present to our society.

The Lord Hath Judged the Red State Voters

2006-04-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

Texas is on fire, and the Bible Belt just took its first shot from what will likely prove to be the biggest tornado season on record. Florida and the Gulf Coast can start hunkerin' down for hurricane season kickoff, and the mountain states can begin preparations for a drought-enhanced fire season, because the mighty Jehovah has opened a can of red-state whoopass that has no end in sight.

I have to ask all you Bible thumpers and Holy rollers out there - How come the Lord's so very very angry at y'all? Why is it that these sufferings and privations are not being visited upon NY, OR, and MA?? After all, as y'all have made abundantly clear to us for some time, these are the homeless shelters of all that is wicked - boobies, mostly, but other evil things too, like sex toys, pot smokers, and cuss words. How could it be that the Lord, who directs all things weather, would seek to punish and re-punish such devout lovers of the divine word and principle, and leave the truly wicked so conspicuously unscathed? Is it one of those Abraham jobs, and y'all just need to keep prayin' and hatin, and rejecting all reasonable pieces of factual information that come your way - just buckle down and hold firm to your resentment of all people who don't think-act-look exactly as you do? Jesus wants ya'll to prove that your hate for gays and "the brown people", and the pagans and their agendas, is greater than your love for anything on earth?

Maybe, just maybe, there's a scientific explanation for these things- - but dontcha dare go a-lookin for it, 'cause that'd be the greatest blasphemy of all....

Hey! Family Values Loudmouths!!!!!!

2006-03-24T12:01:00.000-08:00

http://www.comcast.net/news/index.jsp?cat=GENERAL&fn=/2006/03/24/352832.html&cvqh=itn_pastor

Pastor's wife confesses to killing him. Hmmm. I thought only inner-city, blue state, "ethnic" types did this kind of killing. What say you Holy Rollers? Why are so God-damned many of you killing and molesting and kidnapping???? Miserable Superstitionist Idiots. Get off your high horses, and stay the hell out of the public discourse - you've no more right than crack-whores to have your agenda pushed into politics in this country, or anywhere else in the world. Shut the Hell up, and try to keep yourselves from killing people and molesting children.

Changed your mind on W?

2006-03-16T08:12:00.000-08:00

This is for anyone, everyone, who has changed their mind regarding the President. Congratulations - you are the most incredible sucker-idiots I've ever witnessed. Anyone, everyone who knew their ass froma hole in the ground knew in 1999 that GWB was a complete boob, with nothing - NOTHING - but his daddy's resume to run on. Everyone knew that he was selected as a shill for a pack of wacko's personified by Rumsfeld and Cheney, who've spent their adult lives rapt in absurd fantasies of fighting bad guys, though neither of them ever had the balls to do it for real. Everyone knew that W fought dirty, lying campaigns against his political opponents, and that no lie was beneeath his utterance. Everyone knew that every business venture he'd ever touched had turned to shit, yet now, somehow, the fact that he let New Orleans drown then left it for dead is surprising to some of you - has caused some of you to change you mind about the man. Those of you should now be forced to stand by your man, and suffer the public ridicule that is your due and his. I'm sure that in 2000 you all enjoyed telling your friends outside the cult that they were just experiencing sour grapes, that they should get over it, and get behind our leader, and so on - maybe those people weren't comfortable plying cheerleader to people who were poised to, and now have, shattered our economy, our military, the Constitution, and anything else they've managed to put their croooked, thieving hands on. And you were - you are the supporters of this regime, and you should be required to remain in uniform, so the rest of us can easily identify you as the dangerous idiot radicals you are. Fact is, my concerns for my families welfare have a hell of a lot more to do with the gop regime than they do any terrorist organization. You people are the ones who will make attending college more difficult for my kids, who will make the likelihood of their receiving adequate health care more remote, who will squander our nation's goodwill around the world, making it more likely that they will be unwelcome in the countries they flee ours to in search of a decent-paying job. You made the bed for W, now just keep yourselves tucked right on in there with him, even though he's broken into a feverish sweat and keeps mumbling and grinding his teeth in his precious sleep....and keep those "W" stickers on your cars, so I can keep flippin you off on the highway - suckers.

these 47% of us

2006-03-07T14:45:00.000-08:00

....who told Zogby pollers that they would favor military action against Iran if they continue to pursue a nuclear program, are the most pathetic and reprehensible COWARDS our fine nation has yet produced. I take it that there are Americans who, were it told to them that any given country might bear us some ill-will and has money to purchase weapons or advanced technologies, would give the green light to bombing and killing the people of that country.

COWARDICE is the only apt adjective for this kind of reactionary bullshit. If you think you need to kill some kids in Iran to sleep well at night, you are a miserable fucking coward, and do not deserve citizenship in any free country of the world. You belong living under a military dictatorship, lickspittle to other cowards who retreat from a sometimes hostile world in fear at the first "boo". Those of us who supported and/or support the war in Iraq are also pathetic cowards, of the first order, whom a living John Wayne would not hesitate to smack across the face like hysterical ninnies.

How is it that no brave Rep. John Murtha has called this mass hysteria the cowardice that it is? Why has no public voice the balls behind it to tell precious little America to stop hiding behind the biggest military in the world, and killing people for no better reason than to stop the fear, and otherwise quit being such a pussy?

Big American McMythMart

2006-03-06T14:33:00.000-08:00

All the boldest figures of the American Mythos have come into play for the new year.

The Myth of Good Old Days is riding high with the "values voters". According to this Myth, if it were the 1950's (or is it the '40's, or the 1830's?) again, everything would be better.

Closely paired with it we find the Myth of Morality, which was apparently abundant in the past? The common formulation is that, if there is no HBO, porn, or birth control, there will be no killing sprees, spousal abuse, or national debt. A very esoteric calculus, to say the least.

The Veep riffed on the very hot "Bootstraps" myth last week, and a real favorite of his pal, Ronald Reagan. "What people need to do is save their money, rather than spend it, and then they'll be wealthy, like me and my pals". Thanks to his deep courage and strength of character, I am moving a few of my families belongings outdoors, where we will live while we accumulate our wealth. After all, our doughty pioneer forebears did much the same. I'm sure once I've accumulated a grubstake, ol' Uncle Sam with throw a land grant my way - next stop: 111 Timber Baron Ave., for my scrappy and resourceful clan!!

The investigation into Pat Tillman's death is shaking the foundations of the "Masculine sports-hero stud" Myth, which assumes that all real, red-blooded hetero men agree with each other (and the Good Old Days and Morality Myths) vis-a-vis Government and Foreign Policy. We will discover, if in fact the truth comes to light, that Pat was killed by his own comrades because he saw and spoke the truth about our engagement in the Middle East, because he did possess the courage, the honor, and the manhood to speak the truth.

more shame for us all

2006-02-18T08:16:00.000-08:00

CNN reporting this morning that Little Donny Rumsfeld telling the world that they are just "flat wrong" in calling for the shutdown of GITMO. Anyone hearing the name GITMO should pause for a moment of silent reflection, and feel the shame that's due to any people who would carry on their WalMart shopping while innocent people are tortured there. With any luck, some of our administration's boosters will live to have a loved one taken from them in the middle of the night, never to return.

As for all the Christian Soldiers out there that think what we're doing in Iraq and places like GITMO is A-OK, you'd best check in with your Christian conscience, 'cause I really don't think this shit passes the wwjd test, but I'd really like to hear one of you try to justify it - maybe you should practice before an earthly judge to make sure it'll fly when you try to sell it to St. Peter.

American History for dummies

2006-02-17T14:22:00.000-08:00

"As nightfall does not come at once," wrote Justice William O. Douglas, "neither does oppression. In both instances, there's a twilight where everything remains seemingly unchanged, and it is in such twilight that we all must be aware of change in the air, however slight, lest we become victims of the darkness."

2006-02-17T13:44:00.000-08:00

catfish, baby

Dog Wagged

2006-02-17T08:42:00.000-08:00

Great to see that we're all still jabbering about the Fuddgate incident. In the meantime, more crooked GOP legislation is oozing through DC, and our hapless representatives are on the verge of approving a permanent GOP police state. Won't that be great, when our Sons and Daughters will be subject to being dragged from our homes in the middle of the night and locked up in a place we can't even get a phone call from!!! Of course, nice people and saved people will never have that happen to them, will they? Maybe that's how we'll avoid reinstating the draft to staff the Iran war effort - we'll conscript protesters and anti-W t-shirt wearers, then give them the option of serving out their sentences on the battlefield of liberty. Sounds like a bush plan to me. HECKUVA JOB DICKIE!

Bring it, GOP cowards!

2006-02-16T16:21:00.000-08:00

This is my inaugural throw-down. GOP sympathizers and apologists are on absolute notice that they are not welcome in my Blue-State America, and it's time to crawl back under the rock with your AM radios to spank it with the Pill Popper. Cowards, one and all.